Champion vs Master

I've been playing a lot of Pokemon recently.

The story goes like this:
I got sick, and bored and depressed and wanted something to do. So I fired up the Game Boy emulator on my computer and started a new game of Fire Red. It was fun and fine, of course as always happens when I play the game I got oddly attached to my team of Pokemon. Of course since I was literally just sitting around by myself those little guys were my only companions as I rested away the mononucleosis.
Raised with love.

I started with Squirtle and named him Leonardo, after the Ninja Turtle because as we all know Leonardo leads and this guy was going to be the figurehead of my team. As time progressed however, that role slowly got taken up by the much more versatile Nidoking.

The next Pokemon I collected was Weedle, quickly raising it to a Beedrill. This was a throwback to my old team from the original Red version when I Missingno/Rare Candy'd my Beedrill up to level 100 and beat the entire Elite Four with just him. I wanted to relive the glory days. In Fire Red though, Beedrill doesn't learn Pin Missile? WTF. Anyways, nicknamed Hank Pym as a tribute to Yellowjacket my Beedrill was nice, but it never really lived up to my hopes and memories.

The third Pokemon on my list was of course the male Nidoran. I called him Elvis, for he truly was the king, and waited until Leonardo evolved into Blastoise to give him the Moon Stone. I had forgotten the raw power of Nidoking, but he quickly took his rightful place as my favorite.

After hijinks involving an Ekans and about twenty minutes trying to get back into Mt. Moon to try and get a Clefairy (which didn't work BTW), I obtained an Abra outside of Bill's house. Our relationship never reached its full potential though. As a Kadabra the Pokemon was powerful, but something was just off. Perhaps I never took him seriously enough. After all, I named him Uri as a joke. Uri Gellar was the magician that tried to sue Nintendo for Kadabra because apparently bending spoons was his thing. This just set us onto an awkward path and we could never get ahold of true intimacy.

Another of my favorite Pokemon is Haunter. The first episode of the show I ever saw was the one with Sabrina and the Haunter that made her laugh. Because of this I feel me and Haunters have a special bond akin to the psychic master and her companion. So I named him Casper and continued on my journey, anxious as he learned Dream Eater but not Hypnosis. Concerned, I scoured the internets for information and came to the sickening realization. The Gastly I caught was at a high enough level that it had already learned Hypnosis and ALREADY HAD FORGOTTEN THE MOVE. I had to wait to get to the move tutor on Two Island (and catch like, three Paras's to get Tiny Mushrooms. DUMB) in order to get him to re-learn Hypnosis. Why didn't I just go back and get another Gastly that knew Hypnosis? Because of that weird bond I had formed with the Pokemon. This was my Haunter and his name was Casper and we were friends. I didn't want to let go and so I spent the extra time to go out of my way and teach him Hypnosis.

The last addition to my team was Aerodactyl. The only female Pokemon on my team was hard work to train. When I finally got to teach her Fire Blast it was not as powerful a fire move than I needed. The weird combination of rock and flying types was too complicated for me to take full advantage of and poor Kimberly (Because of the Pink Pterodactyl Power Ranger) was left the weakest spot on my team. Even Hank Pym's Solorbeam could destroy, I don't understand why Fire Blast was so weak. Even so, I loved her. She was part of my team, and I spent the time and effort training her up from level five. I cared about her. I cared about all my Pokemon.

So after much training and battling it finally came time to face the Elite Four. I stocked up on potions and revives and full heals... And couldn't go through with it. After all the time and effort and love I put into my team, it all suddenly seemed so meaningless.

An odd sort of nostalgia took hold of me. I fired up my dusty GBA and popped in my Yellow Version cartridge from Christmas 1999. The number on my Pokedex stared back at me. 142. It was a scar from my childhood, a reminder of one of my greatest failures as a young nerd.

I never caught 'em all.

The blank spaces on the list haunted me even after I switched the device off. I closed my eyes and there they were.
Slowbro
Hitmonchan
Chansey
Dragonite
Jolteon
Kabuto
I hadn't even seen Omastar or Kabutops and their names were taken up by the most frustrating dashed lines I have ever seen.

I returned to my loves on my emulator, determined to make myself feel better by beating the Elite Four one last time. But once again, I couldn't bring myself to do it.
Leonardo, Elvis, Hank Pym, Uri, Casper, Kimberly, I love you all, and wish I could bring you the honor of being champion Pokemon but I just can't. My heart just isn't in it anymore.

I've been the Pokemon Champion countless times before. It has gotten so much that it is totally meaningless now. So I beat them again. Big whup. Before my Silver Version data got corrupt I had pounded them over forty times in that game.

I tired of just beating the Elite Four and my rival and going off to catch the elusive Mewtwo. I want something more. I want it to be meaningful again. I can't just create that loving bond with these creatures, turn them into unstoppable battling machines and then abandon them once I am crowned Champion.

I want to be a Pokemon Master. I want to catch 'em all. I want to be the very best, that no one ever was. To catch them is my real test. To train them is my cause.

So I am toying with the idea of investing in an old Gameboy color, link cable, and Blue Version and completing the three original Pokedex's. It's a ridiculous time commitment and there are so many things I should be doing instead, but I just can't get those eight Pokemon out of my head...

Maybe I'm being absurd, but the more I think about it, the more important this is to me and I might just waste an hour or two every day until I've become a true Pokemon Master. Pokemon is about believing in yourself and your friends and the loving bonds that you create on your quest to become the best. You shouldn't look at it and see yourself as a failure. The completed Pokedex is a symbol of this, that you believe in yourself so much that you won't let anything stop you.

Because really, it's the Pokemon that teach me to understand the power that's inside.