Trying to be like Grace Kelly

So I did not get to sleep until very very late last night. I only vaguely remember even going to bed. It was not some good times.

Let me rephrase that last part.

It was awesome when I was asleep. This morning was not some good times. I feel awake, I took a shower that shook me into consciousness, but my body is still like nuh-uh, you have an early bedtime tonight Paris Alexander.

So Rachel, if you're reading this, I'm sorry I made fun of you for going to bed at like 8. I understand now.

Anywho I was feeling crappy and then I started listening to the Mika CD I got at Target the other day. This music brings me such joy. My body wants me to pass out, but my heart wants to dance. If only my falsetto was as dulcet as his.

I was thinking about how much I would sing when I was little. I used to write such beautiful songs.

My best friend Joe says
"Don't eat the yucky stuff"
My best friend Joe says
"Don't eat the yucky stuff"

Brilliant. Such simple wisdom I passed on in my days as a toddler. Don't eat the yucky stuff. I feel as though those are words to live by. Just don't eat the yucky stuff. Observe that it is there, determine if it is in fact, yucky, acknowledge the yuckiness, and just eat the good stuff. Don't bother eating the yucky stuff, it is bad for your health.

Nowadays I write songs like,

You make me want to vomit
You make me want to vomit
You make me want to vomit-
You make me sick.

And of course, my short lived career as the hip-hop star Penny Whistle featuring such inspired lines about my mediocrity and straightedgedness.

I'm a world class slacker
A champion snacker
While these kids get crunk I eschew Gin & Juice for cheese & crackers.

I thought it was really clever. Dunno how the word "eschew" is ever going to make it into the rap lexicon without me. I was never very serious about Penny Whistle, it's meant to be hilarious, but there's a part of me that wants the poetic recognition that comes from underground rap and local spoken word/slam poetry. The fact is I just don't have enough control over the language yet. It's mostly a joke, but I still choke, getting shown up all day by much better blokes, sippin their Cokes-

And there's me with my Roundy's cola.